Change

[Danie]

Yeah that's me at a couple of months rolling around on the floor. I guess not all things change lol. But lately I have come accross some very big changes in my life. Not just life itself, but I myself, have established some major changes. Mostly in my brain. Mental illness is what renders up there in the noggin. Like serious mental illness. But the past couple of years I have had less and less symptoms. Pretty much leaving me with emotional and social deficits (along with scarring). I have actually become more motivational, more aware and dare I say more social? Im still a hermit. I still like to do no more in the day than I have to, which consists of me laying in bed for hours daydreaming. But I digress.

I was put on dissability when I was 18 years of age. And I truely needed it. But right now I believe in myself and actually can not wait to get a job. I realize working on a daily basis will eventually suck. But that doesnt stop the excitment. Im am truely happy that I am able to work! I actually am officially enrolled in a Bartending school in Florida which I will attend for two weeks. Yes I want to be a bartender. My Psychiatrist told me it was a horrible idea and that Autistics couldnt bartend because bartending is only for extroverts. Well I beg to differ. And I will go to this school, do the best I can and get a job. It will be hard work and will take a lot of time to get used to. But I am more than ready. I am ready to make serious changes in my life. It is long overdue. Ive followed a broken path through my life. Which isnt a bad thing! Ive learned so so much. And its where everything, my special interests, my friends, my dreams, stem from. So I am still following a broken path, and I probably always will in my future. But it will be oh so much sweeter :))

[Danie]

lol Robin that is so true. I do wonder if we learn how to flip bottles and such. That would be so awesome!

[Danie]

Thank you Jamie and Robin for the comments! Yeah I totally want to blow this "cant do it" thing out of the water. And I plan to do so, even if it will be hard.

Jamie, I actually like my Psychiatrist right now. Even if sometimes we clash. But thats no new thing for me lol. I like to argue...i mean *ehem* discuss. So sometimes we clash. But thats okay with me. I actually never got a "official" diagnosis of HFA/AS/PDD NOS even though every doctor Ive seen (and Ive seen a lot) ask me if Im on the spectrum. Ive only been diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder MDD Type and ADHD. But are currently seeing an Autism specialist to get diagnosed.

And Robin, Psychology is actually a pretty new study. So naturally there some bumps. But Im a strong believer in psychology (although not necessarily freudian).

[Jamie Hersh]

That's cool, bartending school! Can't believe your shrink told you that, but since I've met more people with shrinks I've seen this absurd pattern of doctors telling patients what they CAN'T do.

It's taken me about 19 years but I finally found one that actually listens to me. I was diagnosed at 20..not at a young age like many others on here. He tells me that because of my late diagnosis I've had to learn how to cope without the help.

Sounds like you've found ways to cope too!